The Reason Why Anxiety Can Actually Destroy Your Life
Stress. Anxiety. We are all dealing with it. It can be debilitating.
I think one of the greatest illusions and lies we are telling ourselves is that we'll be able to eliminate these emotions if everything will go right. If you have enough money, if you have the right relationship, if everybody is healthy, if you live where you want to live, if you get the things you've been dreaming of, etc…
WRONG.
Actually, I used to have this belief until today morning. This is a very fresh change.😅🙈😂
I have to say that I can be REALLY GRATEFUL for everything I have. I've got so many loving people in my life, I have so many things…
I used to struggle financially a LOT. I thought when I would be financially stable I would be happier. I was longing for the right partner and when he was there, he didn't transform my life into a fairytale (please cry with me😅😂)...
I have a loving and incredible family.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💖💖💖
But back to stress. I used to think, when my problems are gone, maybe the negative emotions would leave…
Actually, we don't fight against our problems...we fight against our negative emotions indirectly. We ALWAYS look at our emotional state as a reward. We want to feel happy, satisfied, loved, cared for, and we want to eliminate stress, grief, depression, feeling like a failure, etc…
And we also think that these emotions can mostly be triggered by external factors. That's why we want to solve our external problems, which of course, necessary, just won't necessarily give you all the results you've been waiting for, especially internally.
So, I used to believe that if my problems will be solved, I will be happier. MUCH happier.
And yes, that happiness can last for 5 minutes, or a few days, or weeks...then you will suddenly find yourself in the same emotional situation.
No, maybe it will be a bit different.
You might think you are only stressing about things that are wrong in your life. But what does your mind do when everything starts to go right?
Well, you can happily stress about the things that may go wrong in the future or that you will lose the things you've gained so far. Or that you don't deserve the things you have and people will find it out...or whatever BS your little mind comes up with.😅🙈
That's just the case.
For years, I used to struggle with depressed stress...now I struggle with happiness stress and I can feel just as anxious. Congrats, Lilla, such an achievement!😂
I've got into self-improvement years ago.
It was funny at the beginning, the first time I watched an hour video, actually I watched 2, by a psychologist talking about relationship secrets, I was sure that I had just got my Ph.D from relationships and I was like the second wisest person about relationships...it turned out that was the first day in kintergarten.🤣
I from that time, I think I've advanced to primary school.🙏🏻😂
Whatever, self-improvement. Self-improvement is one of the MOST important things you can do for yourself, for your happiness, future, success, and stability.
One of the MOST IMPORTANT areas of self-improvement is how to deal with stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts.
Let me share with you the things that helped me TREMENDOUSLY to get rid of these negative feelings in my life!
1. Journaling
Nowadays, if I don't feel well, I grab my journal and write down how I feel and why I feel the way I feel. I also try to find out the reason, my negativity is NOT valid. When you see everything in front of you, you are facing your fears and not dealing with and trying to escape from an invisible enemy anymore.
This is one of the musts I do every time when anxiety tries to hit me. Or in another words, if anxiety tries to hit you, slap back on its face with your journal. But make sure not to hit the people around you while you are fighting against stress. You are welcome.
2. Motivational videos
I have one particular video I like to listen to almost every day. It contains positive affirmations as well as the reason why you are in charge even when you feel like you are not. Your thoughts and beliefs shape your reality and we have a tendency to forget that way too often.
3. Positive affirmations
Dealing with the negative thoughts about yourself can be really difficult at the beginning and also, every time you meet something that challenges you. 'I am not enough', 'I'm too weak', 'I've always been a loser', 'I can never improve this situation', etc...these can all come up from time to time. When you strengthen yourself with positive affirmations, you are changing the core beliefs of yourself. This will not only make you feel better long term but it can also change how you cope with stressful scenarios.
4. Prayer/meditation
Just trying to calm down and thinking through your situation from another perspective can be really transformational. I'm a believer and knowing that God wants me the BEST and I have an infinite source of wisdom and love on my side can instantly change how I think about my life. If you don't believe, just meditate, try to find your focus, try to let go of you trying to force things be the way you want them to be. Try to see the positivity.
5. Talk it out
Talking to a loved one, friend, or a professional about your problems, especially if you've been dealing with it for a longer period, for the purpose of SOLVING them, not only complaining can be super helpful.
If you are talking to a non-professional, make sure that that person can either help or understand you and can add some positivity and wisdom to the picture.
6. Befriend imperfection
One of the things I've realized about myself is that I'm a perfectionist. Doing things imperfectly, or meeting highly imperfect situations can freak me out. Big time. Trying to do your BEST is fantastic, trying to be perfect all the time will make you feel miserable. Human beings are highly imperfect. You will mess it up, you can hurt people you don't want to, for some people you will never be enough, and it's okay.
You are STILL valuable.
Sometimes I realize that success is building a castle from your own imperfect shit. You have to move before you are ready, you have to leave your comfort zone to find the place where you really want to be.
You are allowed to be imperfect, have fun, and don't always take life so seriously.
7. Adaptogenics
After working on your mindset, some herbs can be helpful to get out of the pit you are in.
For stress, adaptogenic herbs are amazing to decrease your stress levels. Ashwagandha, Rhodiola, astragalus, reishi, cordyceps, tulsi, all have adaptogenic properties. I personally use ashwa and reishi the most. I've just taken some ashwa probably less than an hour ago. It can work like magic.
8. Exercise
Exercise increases your inner endorphins. It helps to lower stress and elevate your mood. 30 minutes or more of exercise daily will transform your life for sure.
9. Others
Vitamin D, balancing your hormones, breathing techniques are super helpful, too, and if I had to write about everything that would pretty much take up a LONG book. Check my blog and YouTube channel for these topics. ;)
For example, hormonal balance:
What are your go-to tips when you are stressed out? Let me know in the comments!
Have a blessed day! :)
Comments