The hidden reason you can't stop scrolling
The hidden reason you can't stop scrolling
You bet, I struggle with this, too. Sometimes I just can't stop it. Don't think that I try to give you an advice on something I have never struggled with. For me, the night time is the most dangerous. Sometimes I get to bed, I'm tired, I want to wake up next day beautiful and productive...then it just kicks in. And I can waste 10-60 minutes with it. It sucks. It makes me feel like a failure and usually, even more dissatisfied with myself.
Disclaimer: I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you because learning these helped me to become happier and I honestly hope that reading this and taking action, will make you happier, too. :)
Also, I'm not talking about jumping on social media and having fun and creating meaningful relationships. The "scrolling" I mention is when it comes to spending MEANINGLESS time on social, without any true purpose or satisfaction, in a way that annoys you.
Because I know this behavior of mine can annoy me and waste my time.
I also know that there are million things I can be and I should be grateful for and I don't need to scroll on social to be happy. But I still do it from time to time. And probably you do this, too.
It made me think about the REAL reason. Because I guess I'm not the only one, who hears and reads it everywhere...and knows it. It's unhealthy. You shouldn't hang on your phone all the time. It's shameful how much it can hinder my productivity.
Social media is amazing but it can also ruin your life if you let it. BUT, it's not only about your willpower. I've realized that there are certain emotional states that make me wanna scroll endlessly. I believe that every action has a root cause and addictive behaviors are just the end result, what you can see on the outside. We often fall in the mistake wanting to fix the external behavior without thinking about the internal struggles. Let me tell you something, you CAN get rid of addictions permanently but only if you fix your emotional state.
So, let's talk about what these emotional states are, which can trigger the social media scroll monster to come out.
1. Feeling deeply dissatisfied with your life
In my experience, when I had a job that made me unhappy, I often noticed that I couldn't go to sleep in time and ended up scrolling on social in bed. The thing I've realized was: I felt unhappy. And according to what I've been through, you can't really fall asleep if you are unhappy.
Maybe that's the reason many people want to watch TV in the evening and fall asleep in front of it. Because it makes them not to think about their unhappiness. They feel dissatisfied in their work, or family life, or whatever.
Social media can act as an emotional painkiller but never forget, most of the painkillers ONLY treat symptoms, not the root cause.
Instead of staring at your phone during the night, I would recommend you a deep journaling session and asking these questions from yourself: Why am I unhappy? What makes me lack of satisfaction in life? What would make me happy right now?
If you find what would make you happy, visualize it, and try to act on it ASAP.
2. Feeling unloved
REAL TALK. I fell into this mistake 2 days ago. Actually, I had no idea what my problem was. I felt low, depressed, and empty...and I had no clue why. Then I started listening to a podcast and realized that not loving myself was my problem.
Social media creates connection. It's beautiful. BUT, it can also be addictive because you might start to think about it as a source of love.
Side note: there's nothing wrong about having your Love on social media, just when you feel empty and you don't love yourself, nobody else can do that for you.
For me, every time I feel unloved is because I had forgotten to love myself. I want to be productive, I want to work hard...and if I don't, or I'm imperfect, I can get down on myself. It's OK, probably you struggle with self-love issues as well.
In terms of journaling, it's helpful to write down the simple questions and reply to yourself: Why do I feel unloved? Do I love myself at the moment? What would make me feel more loved? How can I love myself more?
Nobody is perfect. I'm not and you aren't either. It's OK not to be the best, strongest, most successful sometimes. Your performance doesn't alter your true value. You are AMAZING and worthy of love, just the way you are and you have to believe this to truly embrace loving yourself.
Another side note: I have the tendency of scrolling when I love someone and miss him but I haven't got enough connection during the day, in this case, practicing self-love still works well.
3. Searching for answers
This was the other aspect of which I was dealing with on Friday night. I felt empty. and I was searching for answers on social media. I was longing for a video or a quote or whatever to change my life and perception. I've already noticed a few times when I had unanswered questions in my life, and couldn't find it, I just scrolled, scrolled, and scrolled. To numb my pain and to try to find something, anything, that would help.
On Friday, it clicked in how to make this more effective. However Google CAN'T answer all of your questions and even if it does, the answer can be imperfect, yet, thankfully, the social media has a lot of great content about self-improvement and how to deal with emotional issues.
What changed the game for me was, to actually make this clear for myself that I was searching for answers. If you feel like this, I would recommend you asking yourself the questions: How do I feel? What do I want to solve? What I'm searching for and what would I like to find?
When you get clear on this, you might just find the thing that would change your situation.
It blows my mind how quickly it happened on Friday. Let me tell the whole story.
I felt empty, depressed, and a bit stressed out. Felt like I needed something to soothe my soul because it was burning painfully. I always like to pray for help...and God made me think about the questions to ask myself. I ask myself what I was searching for actually. My answer was: something that would take my pain away and calm me. Less than 2 minutes later I saw the podcast with Jay Shetty and Jada Pinkett Smith. I had already listened to half of it on the day before. I turned it on. In the next minute I heard the answer. It was self-love. If you don't love yourself, nobody will be able to do it for you.
I was like: WOW! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear!
It blew my mind, while I was listening to it, I felt so much better and fell asleep while I was listening, probably. Next day, I woke up 10 times happier. I know how important self-love is, still, I can forget it from time to time and I need a reminder.
4. You are just too tired to do anything else
If it's not nighttime, this is also a HUGE factor. Every time I feel too tired to do anything, the easiest thing is to just go on social media, consume, then forget about myself and spend an hour on it without realizing. I would recommend you taking a nap instead of it.
I hope this was helpful!
What do you think about this topic? Let me know in the comments!
Something that God has put on my heart recently. When the sea is stormy and the waves are overwhelmingly big, instead of trying to fight them, that's the time to dive deeper. Because deep waters are always calm. Only the surface is messy and dangerous.
So, translating this metaphor, is like, when your life is messy and you can't find peace, it's better to dive deep and focus on the inner work, until the storm goes away.
This has always worked for me. Also, surrounding yourself with the people, who lift you up, make you feel better, or can guide you in the right direction can be priceless.
Have a blessed day! <3
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