The reason you are still unhappy

It was Saturday morning…I knew the slowly, all of my dreams were coming true…but I felt incredibly unhappy.

Unsatisfied. And I asked God why because I’ve got almost everything I’ve ever wanted, still, felt a hole in my heart and started looking for flaws in everything and everyone.

Then I got my answer. I wasn’t myself.

Job. You spend a heck of a LOT of time at work. Most of people think that jobs are for making money and only a VERY small percentage of people are happy with their professions and it’s okay…

But is it???

This job was fine when I started. I was happy to earn money and learn new skills.

Then, slowly, the stress sneaked in.

Harassment, lots of insane situations..

I used to pay attention to my mouth. After 2 months, especially the busy summer, I was almost swearing like a sailor.

I have lots of co-workers from other countries. Many of them don’t have a great English.

First term that stayed in my mind: Fucking shit people!

Swearing is good for stress relief.

I heard this quite often. As I’m going away, I’m gonna miss most of them.

Slowly but surely I started to lose parts of myself…and I couldn’t even notice it.

Only when I first went home for a holiday.

So, this time, when I woke up unhappy, I knew that I was lacking sleep and I knew what I needed was relaxation.

Because you can’t find yourself when you are stressed.

So that’s what I did. I rested, I ate, had some quiet time, and thankfully, everything started to change.

Oh, and I’ve started to really internalize the fact that nobody will ever make you happy.

Even if you have the cutest men in your life, the cutest kids, pets, family, people, who care about you.

If you don’t love yourself and you are not happy about your life, you will make others unhappy, too.

Being ME makes me happy.

My definition of happiness is when you are in complete harmony with your true self.

The problem is that we are broken and often need help. I personally believe that God plays a key role in finding true harmony with yourself.

Another thing that helped was to pay attention to myself. Women are masters of neglecting themselves. We just LOVE to take care of others and get lost in it.

Since I have my little puppy here with me, that was the case. Most of my free hours revolved around her. We took a nap, then it was hard to get out of bed because she sleeping was the sweetest thing, ever and I just didn’t want to ruin the moment.

I reckon, the greatest problem with women, and I’m talking from my personal experience, that we can get easily lost in love and then get addicted.

Lost in loving others and focusing on them, while forgetting ourselves.

I used to work as an au-pair. What I saw is that most of the moms are drained.

Then want to give everything away and then often get back anxiety, screaming, whatever.

They are hungry for love. They try to perform to be there for their kids and husband, but they forget to be there for themselves.

Even worse, they feel guilty.

Never forget, the love that you feel for others comes out of you. I believe that it comes from God originally but you have to be the channel. If you don’t pay attention to yourself, you won’t be able to be there for your loved ones. You will get frustrated, angry, feel neglected.

But the truth is that YOU neglected YOURSELF.

I was thinking about this a LOT. We love people and hope that it will be reciprocated but the energy law of nature is completely different.

For example, if we think about burning sugar as energy, our bodies work with 70% efficiency. That means that you lose 30% energy every time you burn sugar.

Cars are even more ineffective.

Love is energy. Whatever you put in, you can never expect 100% return. You invest energy. You HAVE to invest energy because the whole system is losing a part of it.

And this is the proof that life is about giving. So if you don’t give yourself first, and feed yourself first, you will run out of energy sooner or later.

Starting a relationship to feel love, especially after knowing this, is the greatest foolishness.

Love and life is about GIVING. And first, you have to create the energy for that.

It was a random ramble.

I hope it was helpful!

Have a nice day!