The secret trait that stops you from changing your life

How can a scarcity mindset hold you back from changing your life for the better?

I've never thought about it in depth until recently. Of course, this might not be the only trait, which can hold you back. But in my experience, it can be a very strong force to slow you down or even stop you from the things you want to change.

Let me share with you what's happened to me recently. I felt empty and hurt inside and it felt unbearable so I started watching movies to ease the pain. There's nothing wrong with that...just they take away hours from my day, which could be used for doing things that build my future.

I have another short story about my experience with hunger. When I was dieting, I was starving all the time and my mind mostly revolved around food. So, when I started eating, I started eating with the mindset of hunger and I couldn't stop. For example, in high school, I was binging like crazy. I didn't eat almost anything during the week when I went home from the dormitory, I was eating basically all day on weekends...so much that I often felt sick.

This episode came back multiple times in milder ways. When I don't have time to eat for some period and I'm often hungry, when I eat, it's always in the back of my mind that I have to eat a little more because I don't know when I'm going to eat again.

Very often, your mind can play tricks with you, even if the cause is not there anymore. I've already noticed that when my mind starts to revolve around eating and I don't have a realistic need for it, it's because I have the thought deep inside 'I need more food'. In times like those, when I readjusted the mindset related to eating and I was like 'it's okay Lilla, you can eat anytime, you don't have to stress about it anymore' it's stopped the urge.

What I want to say it, that it's very often your MINDSET, what creates certain needs for you. The way you think. Of course, be kind to yourself because these mindsets always pop up when something is wrong. You don't make enough time for yourself, to eat, to practice self-love, whatever. Your mind almost tries to overcompensate the previous episodes of not having the things you needed.

Side note: that's why most of the diets fail. If they are focused on calorie restriction, your mind will go nuts and at one point, you are going to lose control.

A scarcity mindset is when you think, whatever you have is not enough. It's focused on the missing part. Sometimes this can be useful for survival, other times, it can ruin your life. When you think that there's not enough, not enough food, not enough money, not enough time, you get selfish and stop the natural flow of events.

Scarcity attracts poverty. The way you think you will attract.

When it comes to building habits, I've realized this was the case in my life. I watched movies because I felt bad weeks ago and the habit stayed. I haven't re-evaluated my habit and it felt unbreakable. I needed my fix.

Also, when it comes to having completely new habits, one of the greatest things that can stop you from wanting to really change is that you are afraid that you are going to miss something and your future joy will decrease.

If you start something with the scarcity mindset of the future, you prepare yourself for failure. You think that you should change but you kill it instantly with the thought that it's not gonna worth it.

Whatever you do is related to gratification. I have problems with looking for instant gratification, as probably everyone else has. One of the tricks I've started doing was looking at everything from the future standpoint. I do something now and I think about how happy, grateful, and confident I'm going to feel later because I've done it now.

Humans are constantly searching for meaning in life. Motivation basically gives meaning to what you are doing. If you are doing things meaninglessly, you don't get too much pleasure from it.

Just think about the reason many people argue, they want to be right, the reason they hate losing, because losing can mean losing your purpose. Unless you find a new meaning, you can't advance in life. When you focus on the journey and look at change as an adventure, that can create a new meaning for it. When you look at losing as learning, you will give meaning to your losses.

We do everything because we want to make sense. We want to know that there is a reason why we are here. There is a meaning of your existence.

So, next time, when you want to beat yourself up for screwing up things, try to give new meaning to the area you are working on. Think about the abundance of positivity you are going to gain due to your current actions and sacrifices.

I hope this helps!

Have a blessed day! <3